Be upfront and know what’s important to you
Have a clear list of priorities, requirements and deal breakers.
Be upfront about quirks and expectations
Take a look at the conditions of the apartment or house you’ll be living in – is it messy?
Talk, in person, regularly
Plan time to talk to your roommate(s) in person every month to discuss issues and ideas. What is your idea of neat and clean? What annoys you? What are your study habits?
Remember you might see things differently from others
Ask questions and find compromises
Make rules and assign responsibilities
Divide chores to share the load
How will you split groceries?
Will you have quiet hours?
What is for sharing and what is private?
Keep finances separate
- Sign individual leases to limit your responsibility
If you cannot sign your own lease, make sure everyone’s name is on the lease
Rent payments should be secured with post-dated cheques for the duration of the lease
If you’re paying the landlord, make sure to cash your roommates’ cheques at least a week before the rent is due
Choosing a roommate – things to consider
Cleanliness
Most roommate conflicts occur because of differences in expectations around cleanliness and frequency of when chores and cleaning should be done. Agree on these expectations before you agree to live with someone.
Noise
This is another source of conflict. Do you need total quiet, like to play music 24 hours a day, or want a living environment that is something in between? Talk about it to see if you will be happy and productive with your roommates.
Visitors
What are your expectations about you and your roommates having friends over? How often? Extended stays? Overnights?
Sharing
What will and won’t you be open to sharing when it comes to things like food, expenses, kitchen items/furniture, cleaning products, your personal items (clothing, toiletries), and other shared items (toilet paper, spices for example). Have a discussion, make some rules and stick to them.
Lifestyle
Do you like to party? Do you like to cook and share food? Do you prefer to get take-out? Do you smoke? Are you a rule follower? Do certain things make you anxious? What is your level and expectations around privacy? What are you expecting from the relationship (new BFF, just someone to pay half the rent? A cleaner? Your personal chef?).
Resources to help prevent conflict
- How to Handle 9 Typical Roommate Problems
- Consider a roommate agreement
- Consider a chore schedule. Here is an example, but there are others online:
Dealing with conflict
Good communication
Learn your conflict resolution style
Talk in person. Avoid using text. Definitely don’t post anything on social media about it
Use “I” statements instead of blaming “you” statements
Learn what being a good listener means and practice listening. Seek to understand their perspective
Stay calm, be kind, assume they have good intentions
Don’t swear, name call or have an emotional outburst
Get support if you need it beforehand
Try not to address issues when angry
Don’t involve others that are not part of the issue. (Landlords will not get involved in roommate conflicts).
Revisit roommate agreement
Treat it as a living document that may need revising and changing as the year goes on. Strive to have a win-win situation. You have agreed to live together, and you both want to be happy, so start there and see if you can come to a compromise or a place where you both feel your needs are being met.
Know when to call it quits
If you have been threatened, have been assaulted, or fear someone you are living with, get immediate help.
Check your rights by looking at Dal Legal Aid’s Tenant’s guide.
rely on supports available through Dalhousie such as the International Centre staff, Student Health and Wellness staff, an Indigenous Student Centre advisor, or a Black Student Advising Centre advisor.
