- Consent is active.
- It’s expressed through words or actions that create mutually understandable permission.
- Consent is never implied, and the absence of a no is not a yes.
- Silence is NOT consent.
- “I’m not sure,” “I don’t know,” “Maybe,” and similar phrases are not consent.
Sexual activity requires consent
It is everyone's responsibility to get consent if wanting to engage in sexual activity with another person.
You need to get consent for any sexual activity or intimate contact — not just sexual intercourse. This includes kissing and touching. Grabbing someone’s breasts, genitals, or buttocks is sexual assault; so is making someone touch you.
Any form of sexual activity with another person without consent is sexual assault.
Consent is
- People incapacitated by drugs or alcohol cannot consent.
- Someone who cannot make rational, reasonable decisions because they lack the capacity to understand the “who, what, when, where, why, or how” of the situation cannot consent.
- People who are asleep or in another vulnerable position cannot consent.
- Consent is never given under pressure.
- Consent is not obtained through psychological or emotional manipulation.
- Consent cannot be obtained through physical violence or threat.
- Someone in an unbalanced power situation (i.e., someone under your authority) cannot consent.
- Consent must be granted every time.
- Consent must be obtained at each step of physical intimacy.
- If someone consents to one sexual activity, they may not be willing to go further.
No means no.
Maybe means no.
I don't know means no.
Only an active, enthusiastic
yes means yes.
Alcohol / drugs and consent
Alcohol and other drugs complicate asking for and giving consent. Alcohol is often used to commit sexual violence and is considered to be the most used date rape drug. However, it is important to remember that it is not alcohol that causes sexual violence; rather, it is the person perpetrating it.
Answering difficult questions
The following information is found within, and lightly adapted from, the toolkit: Addressing Alcohol's Role in Campus Sexual Assault.
It is the responsibility of the person who is initiating a sexual act to ensure they have consent, regardless of whether both people are drinking/drunk.
How much alcohol does someone need to drink to be considered incapacitated?
Incapacitation can be a tricky term, as it is used in both law and policy but is rarely defined in ways that students can apply to their sexual encounters.
Everyone’s body reacts to alcohol differently depending on body size, food eaten that day, other drugs ingested, and other factors. Alcohol also impairs our ability to communicate effectively and can impede decision making.
If you’re hooking up with someone who is incoherent, stumbling, slurring their words, and/or doesn’t seem to know what’s going on, assume they’re too drunk to consent and follow up on another day.
Is all sexual contact considered sexual assault if alcohol is involved?
No. It is possible for people to have positive, consensual sexual experiences after drinking. However, alcohol use adds another layer of risk to a sexual encounter, particularly if you don’t know the person well.
If you don’t know how someone communicates while sober, it will be even more difficult to know when they’re drunk as communication is inhibited.
Again, if you’re hooking up with someone who is incoherent, stumbling, slurring their words, and/or doesn’t seem to know what’s going on, assume they’re too drunk to consent and follow up on another day.