Youth across Atlantic Canada look forward to returning to school and seeing familiar faces once again. And for many kids, back-to-school also means a flood of invitations to friends’ birthday parties.
While the common denominator for those who get an invite is to put time, effort and money into buying a gift, some children and families have bucked the trend by hosting what are known as toonie parties, or in some cases, fiver parties.
Instead of a gift, guests bring money - for example, two toonies, or two $5 bills - with the child keeping half the money and donating the other half to a charity of that child’s choice.
Related stories
Eight-year-old Clara Garrett, of Bridgetown, P.E.I., is one such youth taken with doing something extra for a good cause. Clara said a toonie birthday party thrown by one of her best friends inspired her to have her own fiver party this past May.
Clara raised $80 for the Southern Kings and Queens Food Bank located in Montague. She felt good about raising the funds, she said, “because there’s people in the world who don’t have any food or money.”
Clara didn’t miss not getting gifts, as the best part of the party was “seeing all my friends,” she said.
“I saved (the money) for my trip to Toronto,” she said of what she did with her portion of the money.
Clara’s mother Amy said most parents of the invited children praised the idea the fiver party. She said one positive was that it removed the pressure of needing to buy a gift.
“As (Clara) is getting older, she’s not really into toys, and their interests change,” Garrett said. “The emphasis wasn’t on things and gifts, it was about having fun and it taught her a good lesson about (giving to charity)."
How it works
For the parents of those throwing a toonie or fiver party, some practical reasons come into play as to why they’re a clever idea.
Sarah Brickell, of Fall River, N.S., who has four children ranging from five to 13, says her children would, in past birthdays, get everything from Lego sets, action figures, LOL dolls and “lots of little things.”
“You’d get things that didn’t match a set we already had, and we’d try to find a place to store them,” Brickell said. “It (became), they saw the cool thing, but it wasn’t necessarily something that went (with other toys).”
Brickell doesn’t precisely recall how she heard of toonie and fiver parties, but recalls her children being invited to a birthday party where, instead of gifts, the birthday child would receive $10 from each guest.
“It was the first time we’ve been asked for money,” Brickell said. “In its own way, it’s still taboo (to ask for money); people are still used to bringing stuff.”
It was in 2017 when Brickell and her children began to throw toonie and fiver parties of their own. She said what usually happens is, at the beginning of the year, the family sits down and makes a list of about 10 possible charities, narrowing it down to two or three. In some cases, the ‘pre-work’ includes visiting the charity to see what it’s all about.
“It helps them connect better with their communities,” Brickell said.
Local charities have included the Beacon House Food Bank, and local women’s shelters. Sometimes, the choice of charity is more personal, as, for example, one child donated to Scouts Canada because a friend was a member, and another donated to the MS Society of Canada to honour a friend recently diagnosed.
All four children have hosted toonie or fiver parties at least once since 2017 - her youngest, who is five, just had her first such party and is beginning to grasp the concepts of money and spending, while her oldest has grown out of the whole birthday party idea.
A standard invitation will tell guests that ‘your presence is the only present we need’, she adds.
Brickell said guests haven’t given her any grief for not being able to take a gift.
“We’d get homemade cards with the toonie taped inside,” she said. “It inspires a lot of creativity in the gift-giving.”
And the children enjoy the freedom of spending their own money on something they truly want.
“(It gives them) financial independence, and the ability to reflect on what they’re going to buy,” she said. “They feel empowered by it.”
The parties also help Brickell, who is your average busy parent.
“I was looking forward to not have a million little pieces (to pick up,)” she said.
Cutting out clutter
Erin Fletcher of Halifax is another parent who sees the benefits of a birthday without a pile of gifts.
“(There was) so much clutter that it ended up being either donated or not played with,” Fletcher said. “We didn’t want all the clutter of keeping something just because it was a present.”
Her two children typically donate to either the SPCA (Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals) or local food banks. They both got to visit the charities in question and comprehended that those charities did good work and would be thankful for whatever support they could get.
“The SPCA let (my daughter) go on a tour of the facility to see the cats,” Fletcher said.
“She was really happy and would say, ‘I’m really helping that cat’.”
And her son went to the food bank during a shelf-stocking day.
“He said ‘you need more food in here’. It inspired him to want to help,” Fletcher said.
Fletcher said she wants to instil the idea that no matter how much or little one has, you can still do your part to make a difference.
“There has never been any hesitation about giving any money to charity,” she said.
Helping charities, reducing consumption
The volunteers and staff of local charities see how much young people are willing to help.
Taylor Huestis, communications and development officer with SPCA Nova Scotia, said it’s “inspiring” to see children donate and fundraise for the shelters.
“We have had kiddos that drop into our shelters after they’ve held a donation drive and small-but-mighty groups of animal advocates that fundraise all year round,” Huestis said. “They’re helping pets who may be future best friends for other kids and their families.”
Huestis points out the SPCA’s shelters receive no government funding, so those shelters rely on donations and fundraising to cover supplies like food and medicine.
“Right now, with kitten season, it is our busiest time of the year. Our shelters get flooded with abandoned, injured, and orphaned kittens.”
Anders Hayden, associate professor of political science at Dalhousie University, offers a course entitled Politics of Consumption. He admitted he hadn’t heard of the toonie/fiver party concept before being contacted by SaltWire, and mused, “I wish this was around when I was raising my son.”
Hayden said the parties are promising in several different ways. He noted that in terms of economic efficiency, a “huge amount” of economic resources - as well as time - go into the picking out of gifts that may or may not give as much benefit to the gift-getter.
“The bigger example of this would be all the gifts that are exchanged after Christmas,” he said.
While any monetary amount could be an obstacle for those in tough financial circumstances, he said, in general, these types of birthday parties are easier on the pocketbook and alleviate the pressure.
“This simplifies all that. You focus more on (people) gathering for the occasion rather than stuff.”
Hayden admits to being concerned initially that too much emphasis would be placed on getting money, but after some thought, he believes there’s much positive potential to toonie and fiver parties.
He said this concept allows children to “think beyond themselves” and do something that helps others, and it also allows children to select a present that’s meaningful to them rather than be in a situation where “we have all these things and don’t actually care much about them.”
Back in P.E.I., Clara Garrett is already looking forward to the party to celebrate her ninth birthday, and is putting some thought towards another important charity.
“Maybe the Humane Society,” she says.
