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How to say no


Be direct

  • I don't want to have sex right now.
  • I am not comfortable with you touching me, please stop.
  • I am no longer comfortable doing this. Please stop.

Be proactive

  • I am not sure where this is going yet, but I want us to talk about our expectations.
  • I appreciate you inviting me over/offering to walk me home. I just want to be clear that this does not mean I am going to have sex with you.

If you like him/her

  • I like you a lot, but I am not ready for a sexual relationship.
  • I want to get to know you better before I consider sex. How about we go to a movie?

Be clear about your limits 

  • You may agree to have some forms of sexual activity but not others. If the person tries to go further than you agreed to, firmly say STOP. Do not apologize. Remember it's okay to change your mind.

Respond assertively to guilt tactics or pressure

  • I have already told you that I am not interested in having sex.
  • You are not listening to me/respecting me.
  • Stop trying to convince me, I am not going to change my mind.
  • Whether I like/love you is not the issue. 
  • When he/she won't stop after you have said NO 
  • STOP (raise your voice). I am leaving/ I want you to leave.

If you cannot leave, or the other person refuses to leave, then you are no longer safe. You cannot trust this person. Do whatever you can to get out of the situation. Stall by saying you have to go to the bathroom. Take your cell phone with you and make a phone call. Scream and yell for help if there is someone who might hear you.